Propriety

Yes, it’s been forever since I blogged. It has NOT been forever since I THOUGHT about blogging, though! Life has just been insane this past year, and I’ve given up trying to guess when it’s going to settle back into normal. Hence, there will be no resolution about blogging more regularly in this post. I’ll do what I can. However, I just really need to blow off some steam tonight on a topic that has been very much on my mind recently – propriety.

This first sprung to the forefront of my thoughts last weekend when I attended a wedding shower. I’m still totally blown away when I think back to some of the things that happened. When did it become acceptable for wedding showers to become pornographic? The worst part of the event came when all the attendees, which included some people who barely knew the bride-to-be, along with some of her older relatives, were handed a “How Well do You Know the Bride?” quiz. Questions included asking what was the bride’s favored conjugal position, where was the most unusual location she’d engaged in same, and with how many different men. It made the question about her preferred style of undies look tame. To be quite blunt, I don’t know that information about another person on this earth, nor do I really want to. And yes, I found it offensive to even be asked to speculate about it – and I was shocked to be put in such a position that I had to decide how to handle something like this in a social situation with people I didn’t know well, but who put on a front of doing everything just so.

Not having really gotten past the surprise and discomfort of that situation, tonight I got a message from the bride’s mother, whom I’ve seen only twice in my life, and to whom I’ve never even been formally introduced, that I was not to knit at the wedding OR the reception. Note: she’s seen me two times, and one of those two times, I was knitting in public. I’m not even sure the woman knows my name. Now whether or not I would actually have considered knitting at either of the two events doesn’t really matter (would definitely NOT have knit at the wedding, but if the reception is a bore, it would have at least crossed my mind…). The thing that gets me about this is that this woman clearly believes she has the right to tell ME how to behave in a social setting, and that very seriously offends me! If I didn’t happen to care very much for the groom, I would NOT be going to the wedding at all – period. I’ve got better things to do with my life than hang out around controlling, judgmental people. How can someone believe it’s more socially acceptable to exercise that sort of control over someone they don’t know than it is for that person to sit quietly knitting in public? However, there’s a part of me that feels extremely sorry for this woman. Just imagine how terribly unhappy she must really be inside if she honestly believes she has to make all the people in her visible world live up to her personal standards of perfection! Glack!
There was a time in the not to distant past when a woman who did not carry her needlework with her was considered lazy and what happened behind bedroom doors between a husband and wife was considered private. If it wasn’t a married couple, it was considered scandalous. I’m having a tough time seeing the changes I’ve encountered this past week as being progress.

So, the joy sandwiched in the middle of these two events was the lovely compliment I was paid two days ago. I was spending the day with someone I’d never met before, and I was just being myself – something that it took me many years to learn was okay to do. He commented that I don’t seem like the sort of person who is much worried about what people think, and I couldn’t have been happier to hear those words! I like that I finally have learned to be comfortable in my own skin. God has only ever made one me, and if I spend my entire life trying to be somebody else, then I’ve wasted my individuality. Does this mean I have a license to be crude or hurtful? No! But it does mean I have the right to wear the clothes I want to wear, not wear make up, not like eating fish, celebrate only the holidays I feel like celebrating, hold the beliefs I want to hold, have the interests and hobbies I have, etc. I’m not hear to live the life someone else thinks I should live. My life and choices are between me and God. The fact that someone could see that in me with just one afternoon together and commended it was truly a nice thing. 🙂